She wasn’t sure if he was telling her the truth about the reason to him not answering his phone, but she let it go. Whatever reason he’d had not to, didn’t matter because he was there now, in her apartment. But he was distant, avoiding her eyes, talking about Jesse’s parents. She suddenly realized Jesse must have invited Finn over for her. Guilt hit her chest. Jesse was so sweet. Sure, he didn’t always have her best interest in mind, but he always tried to make up for it. Any woman would be happy to be with someone like him. Except, would they still if they had someone like Finn in their lives as well?
She swallowed, glancing at the closed door before she reached out and brushed her fingertips against his wrist. “I want to talk about last night,” she said gently, her heart beating hard against her rib cage. “W-What you said, and what I -” She stepped a little closer to him. “I need us to talk about it this time. So it doesn’t happen again.” They couldn’t keep doing this. She needed to know if the night before had been real.
Finn’s face fell, and she realized that what she had said didn’t sound at all like it had in her head. “Wait, Finn-“
"Sure," he snapped, completely out of character. "Sure, so it doesn’t happen again, I got it."
He’d been warring with himself over this predicament for too long, not sure if he was coming or going, but any doubts he’d had were cleared there and then.
So it didn’t happen again; seemed pretty obvious to him.
He wasn’t sure he had the energy, not now, at least. He couldn’t spend all his time coming up with stupid plans to steal her away from Jesse if she didn’t want to be taken in the first place, right?
"I’m gonna go grab a drink," he said, his voice thin, his jaw tight, and without a second glance, he left the room, his heart aching and his eyes stinging. Jesse gave him a peculiar look as he grabbed a bottle of wine and began to down it in one, but it wasn’t any of that jackass’s business how he was gonna spend the rest of his shitty night.
Rachel stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. In theory, she looked just the same as she had before last night happened. But she felt different. It was like she had been walking around in darkness for a long time, and someone had finally switched the light on. Finn, had. After willingly kissing him, wanting to get into bed with him, Rachel wasn’t sure how to deal with his silence. Usually when she had a problem, Finn was the one she went to. Finn always knew what to do, what to say. But now, when he was the actual problem, and he wouldn’t even let her try talking to him about it, she felt lost. She slowly put some lipstick on, staring back into her own, sad eyes. Jesse’s parents wanted to apologize. That should have made her happy. But right then, the only thing that would make her happy was to hear Finn’s voice. Just in that moment, she heard Jesse open the door for someone. Her eyes widened.
"Finn?" She dropped her lipstick into her makeup bag and left the bathroom, finding Finn standing awkwardly in the hall, while Jesse was talking his ear off. He looked up, and their eyes met. She felt like someone punched her in the stomach, but in a good way. The anger she had felt instantly disappeared, and all she wanted was to be alone with him. She could see a look of surprise in his eyes when she grabbed his hand and began pulling him toward the bedroom. "I just need Finn’s opinion on something," she said, but Jesse just chuckled and went back to the kitchen, so used to their friendship. She closed the door and turned to Finn, her eyes wide and emotional. "Why didn’t you pick up? I called you."
It wasn’t as if he had much choice in following her, because once his eyes caught hers, that was it; he was helpless.
"Oh, uh, phone problems. Yeah. My provider keeps messing up my contract, and the calls didn’t come through or something." His cheeks flushed at his stupid lie, and he shrugged. "Sorry Rach." Looking around awkwardly, he felt his stomach dip when he noticed Jesse’s things beside her bed.
It was just a bed, but it was now their bed, and God, was that a used condom wrapper on the floor? He winced and looked away, his heart in his throat. Rachel was usually really anal about cleaning and stuff, so if that was still there, it meant that it was recent, and it meant that Jesse had been boning her while Finn had been contemplating his very existence without Rachel and-
He was giving himself a headache; thinking wasn’t his forte.
"So, Jesse’s parents, they wanna apologise? That’s good. I mean, they shouldn’t have been such dicks in the first place, but…" He dared to catch her eye, completely clueless about how he was supposed to handle the situation.
He didn’t pick up when she called. The first few times she blamed it on him being busy with band stuff. But when she called Puck and asked him to put Finn on, her friend admitted that Finn hadn’t showed up for their usual hang out. Her hand trembled as she called Finn’s cell phone and then his home phone again. Nothing.
Jesse was in the next room, so she told herself to keep it together, but knew that she was close to breaking into tears. Either Finn was hurt somehow, or he was avoiding her. Both of which hurt. She couldn’t believe that after what happened the night before, he would just leave her like that. Leave her to figure it out on her own, like he hadn’t been part of it too. Maybe a big part of her had also been hoping that he would put up a fight, for her. He had seemed so sincere about his feelings.
Leaving an angry and shaky voice mail, she then called Puck again, asking him to go over to Finn’s place. By the way her so called best friend was acting, she doubted she would have much luck going there herself. When she got Puck’s text, her shoulders relaxed for a moment. He wasn’t hurt. But then she tensed up again. He really was ignoring her.
"Hey, honey," Jesse stuck his head into the bedroom. "My parents are coming over and they want to apologize. Would that be okay?"
Rachel stared at her cellphone, swallowing, before she nodded, giving him a weak smile. “T-That sounds nice.”
She looked back at her phone, her jaw tense.
Let him know that he’s an asshole.
She turned her phone off, and went to get dressed.
"You avoiding Berry?"
Finn’s head snapped up. His gaze, which had been focused on the cold cup of coffee in his hands, switched to the annoyed expression on Puck’s face. “What?”
"Are you avoiding Berry? You know, the loud mouthed piece of ass that replaced me as your wing man." When Finn looked back down at his cup, Puck scowled. "You’re an asshole."
"You don’t know anything, so drop it."
"She’s pissed at you."
Finn blinked, a crease appearing between his brows. “You’ve spoken to her?”
"Yeah, and she’s pissed.” He paused. “And, like, upset, or something. What happened, dude?”
Finn’s mouth opened (whether to tell Puck the truth, or tell him to fuck off, he hadn’t fully decided) when his cell started buzzing again. Before he could hit the reject button, Puck snatched it from the couch and frowned.
"Finn, it’s that Jesse guy."
Oh God, what if he knew the truth? What if he was calling to tell Finn that they’d split up? What if he was calling to tell Finn that they hadn’t split up, but that he didn’t want Rachel anywhere near him? What if he was calling to tell Finn that Rachel had been in an accident, and that she was asking for him?
Oh fucking God, what if he was calling to tell Finn that Rachel was dead?
"Give it here," he breathed, and with his hand shaking, and his brain trying to come up with a suitable response to ‘your best friend’s died’, he held the phone to his ear. "Jesse?"
“Hey Finn. I hope this isn’t a bad time?”
Finn let out a huge sigh of relief at the tone of Jesse’s voice, ‘cause come on, he sounded just as annoyingly awesome as ever. “No, course not. What’s up? I thought Rachel made us swap numbers for, like, emergency wedding stuff only?”
There was a chuckle on the other end of the line; Rachel definitely hadn’t snuffed it. “I know, but this counts, I think. My parents want to apologise to her with a homemade casserole, my mom’s specialty, and a little chat, and it’s only right that you’re there too. Ray is still a bit down in the dumps, and I know it’d cheer her up if you were there.”
Finn rolled his eyes and mouthed a string of curses and punched the arm of the couch with his free hand. “I’ll be there.”
As promised, Rachel did call the day after their little… tryst, but Finn didn’t answer. In fact, he ignored her first call, then her second, way up until her fifteenth call, when she left an angry, teary voicemail demanding that he get in contact with her.
He knew he was being a dick, but he couldn’t see any other option. If he talked to her, it could only pan out two ways.
One, he could lie through his teeth and tell her that it’d had all been a mistake, that he wasn’t in love with her, that he’d just wanted to score, and then she’d be mad at him, then marry Jesse, and the two of them would live happily ever after while Finn wallowed in misery for the rest of his life.
Two, he could tell her that he loved her, that he wanted to marry her and have her ridiculously talented babies.
You see, the second option didn’t seem so bad.
The problem was Jesse. If she reciprocated his feelings, why was she planning to marry another guy? He couldn’t cope with the idea that if he declared his undying love for her, she still might choose someone else, and their friendship would be over for good.
So, instead of going with either/or, he was going with invisible option number three, which included hiding under his duvet, ignoring the mounting number of missed calls and voicemails, hoping that things would somehow right themselves before the day was out.
"Hudson!" called a voice, followed by a loud banging on his front door. "Artie sent me to make sure you haven’t died, ‘cause we have a rehearsal tomorrow and you haven’t replied to his messages or some shit. You still breathing in there?"
Groaning, Finn dragged himself out of bed, and still in his ratty Nirvana shirt that he slept in most nights, he forced himself to open the door.
Puck dramatically wiped his brow. “Thank fuck for that. I was worried our new drummer would be hotter than me, but no, I’m still the sexy one.” Patting Finn on the shoulder, Puck stepped around him and let himself inside, instantly taking a spot on the couch. “So, douchebag, why are you ignoring everyone?”
Finn rubbed his temple, letting out a small sigh. “It’s a long story.”
Quickly, Puck’s fingers moved across his phone to send a message: he’s totally here.
Part of her had been worried that Finn would tell Jesse. She knew him well enough to know that he didn’t like sharing. And while she had thought he only saw her as his best friend before, now she knew it was something more. But Finn played his part well, even as Jesse touched his shoulder and thanked him for taking care of her. Her stomach knotted up and she felt fresh tears in her eyes.
She needed to get them out of there. “Jesse, can you give me a moment with Finn?” Jesse walked out into the hall, and Rachel turned to Finn, her eyes glassy and torn. “F-Finn, I…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say. It had never happened with him before. “I don’t know what to say,” she admitted brokenly.
"Me neither," he said, his voice short. He was angry, but not with her. How had he let this happen in the first place? It had taken Jesse’s presence for him to truly realise how he felt about Rachel, when he should have known all along.
Then again, Rachel had never given him any reason to believe she felt the same.
He had no clue.
"I think you should go home and get some rest." His voice became a little bit softer, because no matter how hard it was, she was genuinely torn up over their predicament, and he didn’t want to make things worse. "We can talk about it tomorrow, or…" He forced a quick smile. "Don’t worry about it, alright? I’ll be fine, and you two will be great."
He gulped, his eyes glancing away from hers.
Rachel watched Finn walk up to the door, and she slowly sat down on the couch. Her heart was beating so hard that it hurt, and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. The feeling of Finn’s touch was still lingering on her skin. The taste of his mouth was still fresh on hers. The way he had spoken to her played in her mind like a broken record. It had been everything she had wanted to hear since she was that naive college girl who decided to be friends with her crush. She looked up when Jesse pushed past Finn, and her throat closed up as he came toward her. He did look sorry, guilty, everything you would wish to see. Everything she didn’t deserve after what she had just done to him.
"I’m okay," she said quietly, avoiding his eyes. But Jesse shook his head and sat closer, draping his arm around her. "You’re not. They - They were horrible to you, and I should have said something. I should have protected you." He touched her cheek and turned her face to him. "I’m sorry Rachel." Rachel swallowed hard, letting out a small sniffle. Jesse, thinking it was about him, quickly brought her into a hug. "It’s gonna be okay, we’ll figure this out." Rachel slowly wrapped her arms around him, meeting Finn’s gaze over his shoulder. "I-I know," she whispered, a tear dropping onto her cheek. Jesse pulled back a little and moved to kiss her. She turned her head and let his lips meet her cheek instead. She knew she’d taste different. "W-We should go home," she mumbled, taking his hand.
Standing up, Rachel’s hand still in his, Jesse placed his other hand on Finn’s shoulder and squeezed it firmly.
"I think I misjudged you, and I’m sorry for that. Brody made me think that…" He shook his head, laughing nervously under his breath. "I had my doubts about your intentions, when now I see that you’re the best person Rachel could have in her life. The way you defended her tonight is how I want to act, and for that I want to thank you. You looked after her when I should have done the same, so thanks, Finn, really."
Finn couldn’t even look Jesse in the eye, never mind Rachel. His attitude had been clouded for so long that he’d failed to notice that maybe Jesse was alright.
He couldn’t think about that, not now. Instead, he shrugged in a nonchalant manner and made a grunt of approval. “It’s what maid of honours do; no one messes with the bride and gets away with it.”
Jesse nodded and removed his hand from Finn’s shoulder. “I hope to get to know you better in the future.” Pressing a delicate kiss to Rachel’s cheek, he nudged her gently. “Shall we go home? I know we have a lot to discuss, but the idea of sleeping in a bed without you makes my heart ache for your touch.”
Finn rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to bawk.
Rachel clung to Finn as he slid his hand in between her thighs, her lips parting in a silent moan. Her hips rose slightly off the mattress, and she was just going to rock against him when - there was a frantic knocking on the front door. They both froze. “Rachel!” Jesse’s muffled voice could be heard from the other side. Rachel felt like reality crashed down on her, and her throat closed up.
"O-Oh god," she choked out, sitting up. Finn slowly sat up too. Her heart was beating so hard as she scanned the floor for her clothes but remembered that she had removed them before her shower. She looked up Finn, her body trembling. "My clothes -" He wordlessly fixed a shirt and a pair of shorts for her, which she slid on, trying to keep herself from breaking down in hysterical sobs. Jesse was still out there, begging her to open the door. Rachel bit her bottom lip hard, looking at Finn weakly. "F-Finn…" She had never felt more confused and guilty in her whole life.
"I’ll sort it out," he said quietly, his head suddenly cleared by the knocking on the door. Wordlessly, he grabbed his own clothes and pulled them on, giving Rachel a look that said ‘I got this.’ He couldn’t think of what he’d just made her do, not now, so he focused on saving her skin instead.
With Rachel dressed and looking a little more presentable (instead of, you know, an ‘almost had sex’ aura) he cleared his throat, nodded to himself, then walked towards the door with as much confidence as he could muster.
He opened it to come face to face with Jesse, whose expression was somewhere between guilty and pissed.
God, if he only knew.
"What do you want?" asked Finn gruffly, trying not to let his own guilt interfere.
"I’m here to apologise to Rachel. I should never…" He shook his head. "My parents, they’ve always been…" He sighed. "Can I see her?"
"She’s upset right now, and if she wants to see you, she’ll-"
Jesse didn’t wait for the end of that sentence. Pushing past Finn, he gasped at the state Rachel was in, though again, thank God he didn’t know the real reason.
"Ray, baby, I’m so sorry." He sat down next to her, looking her up and down as he tutted. "You look like how I feel; a mess."
"Hey," barked Finn, though he was silenced by a wave of Jesse’s hand.
"Please, say something."
Her hands gently stopped his own when his boxers was the only fabric separating them, and she caught a look of panic in his eyes. She calmed him with her gaze, and he slowly relaxed. Her bottom lip gently sneaked between her teeth, her eyes soft and shinning when her fingers curled in the waistband. She traced the soft skin underneath with her fingertips. Finn shivered against her, gulping. She gently leaned up and kissed his adam’s apple, before her soft lips explored the side of his neck, nuzzling against his skin.
She pushed his boxers down, letting him kick them off his ankles. She pulled back and her eyes slowly ran down his body until they settled on the throbbing hardness between his legs. Her breath hitched slightly, and her hand slid from his hip to the front, brushing over his cock. Finn let out a choked moan, and she felt her body tingle. Her fingers wrapped around him and she began moving her hand slowly up and down over the velvety soft skin, her eyes locking with his above her.
They didn’t need to say anything. All they needed at that moment was in each other’s eyes.
It was safe to say that he was confident in the bedroom, and he’d never been frightened of taking control before.
As Rachel’s hand moved up and down his length, however, he was fucking terrified. For a start, he was still finding it difficult to believe that he wasn’t dreaming, and as a hand cupped his balls and squeezed them slightly, Finn closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.
If he wasn’t careful, he’d barely be able to last much longer. Staring at her, he pushed her hand away, only to move it to his hair, where she instinctively clung to him as he pressed his mouth to her neck. With Rachel, there was no need to be embarrassed, and she didn’t mock him as he peppered kisses down her throat.
All in good time, he thought to himself as he slipped a hand between her legs. He shuddered when he came into contacting with her slick skin, and had to hold back a moan at what that meant; she really did want him.
As he nipped lightly at her collarbone, Finn pressed a finger inside her, his body a little tense as he waited for her reaction.
Rachel couldn’t really believe this was happening. She was cheating on her fiance, with her best friend. Her best friend who she, for as long as she could remember, always thought she was meant to be with. Even after that night years ago when she told him she loved him and he forgot the next day, a part of her had always stayed strongly believing that Finn Hudson was always going to be the one for her. You didn’t always end up with your soulmate, right? Sometimes it just never happened, but that didn’t mean that it shouldn’t. And now, this was happening.
Finn’s warm body was pressed against hers, his eager mouth on her chest, and she felt like she was going to pass out from all the emotions that were rushing through her. It should have felt awkward, it should have felt wrong, but god, she felt neither of those things. Her head pushed back into the pillow with a mewling moan and her nails dug into his back as he kissed her throat, his mouth leaving wet trails on her skin.
“Then have me,” she whispered, bringing her eyes back to his, dark and thick with longing. Of wanting to give herself to him. “I’m yours.” Her hand brushed against his cheek, a tender touch. “I’ve always been yours.”
In that moment, he could have died for no apparent reason and he would have been happy.
Well, he knew he’d be happier having fucked her again, but still, the way she looked at him, spoke to him… it was enough to do him in.
"And I’ve always been yours," he returned gently, honesty ringing out in every word. He had, even if he’d never realised it before; his heart was always hers for the taking.
Slowly, softly, Finn parted her lips with his thumb, his eyes just as needy as hers. He smiled, a crooked half smile, before turning his attention to his pants.
Now or never.
Unbuttoning them in a much more careful manner than usual, he still wanted to give her an out, still wanted to give her the chance to say no. God, how he wanted her, but he wanted her to be happy even more than that.
She didn’t protest (he felt like he was going to have a heart attack), and only when he was wearing just his boxers did her hand stop him. He was about to apologise, but then he looked at her, looked into her eyes, and he realised what she wanted.
She wanted to remove them herself, and he gulped awkwardly, a blush on his cheeks.
Rachel gasped a little when he lifted her up in his arms, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, her body buzzing. He was staring at it like she was the sexiest woman he had ever seen, and she felt like her lower belly was on fire. She was so busy trying to remember how to breathe that she was shocked when he suddenly lost his hold on her and she fell onto the mattress. She caught her breath, before she let out a small giggle, her eyes sparkling as she scooted up further on the bed in all her naked glory. She titled her head, her eyes softening.
“Yes… If you come over here,” she said softly, and a small smile spread over her face when Finn almost tripped in his rush to crawl over her. Her fingers grasped onto his shirt, and they quickly got rid of it together before their mouths met again. His chest was warm against hers, and she rubbed her breasts gently against his skin, whimpering into his mouth. This felt so… natural. Like this was all they had been doing for the past 10 years.
Finn let out a less than manly whimper at the feel of her breasts against his skin. He could feel a bead of sweat trickling over a nipple, and he watched, entranced, as it ran down his body, transferring to Rachel’s before it was lost in their embrace. If he’d been with any other girl, a detail like that would have creeped him the hell out, but with her, he felt like they were connected so strongly that anything and everything made the experience more intense.
He still couldn’t believe it was happening. When a hand grabbed one of her breasts and Rachel let out a mangled, pleasured cry, it was real, it was his hand kneading at her, plucking her nipple, taking it into his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. When she cried out a name, it was his name, not Jesse’s or Brody’s or that pervert, Jim that had stalked her for a brief period in college.
It was Finn.
He caught her lips in a frantic, rough kiss that literally made his knees weak. His tongue was practically battling with hers as he kept his hands on her hips, and bucking his jean-covered erection against her thigh, he sighed out in longing. “God, fuck, Rachel, you’re so goddamn beautiful.” He kissed the hollow of her throat, his breathing shallow. “I want you, babe, I really want you.”