Two girls? Normally, this would be the time when Rachel spoke up about the way they treated women in these movies. It wasn’t the first erotic movie they had watched together, and she usually felt very strongly about those things. Now however, when she was already so worked up that her head was starting to feel a little light, she could only stare as the dark haired woman joined them, and began undressing the man.
The jeans he was wearing somehow brought her mind to Finn. He wore jeans too. And no matter how ridiculous that was, it turned her on even more. She heard a small groan from her side, and she pressed her thighs together, suppressing a whimper.
“E-Everything okay?” She asked, her voice a little breathy, her eyes shyly in her lap, flicking back to the not so covered up blow job on the screen, her cheeks warming.
“Y-yeah, peachy,” he breathed out, his eyes wide, fixed on the screen as the Rachel lookalike took the guy all the way to the back of her throat. “She doesn’t have a gag reflex,” he muttered, and he gulped painfully hard as he crossed his legs and tried to conceal the bulge in his pants.
If he had to rate it on a scale of one to ten, it’d probably score a two and a half. He was a dude, alright? He’d seen his fair share of raunchy movies, and as far as this one was concerned, it was garbage.
It was a whole other story with Rachel sat beside him. God, all he wanted to do was grab her and kiss her, or hell, just hold her and whisper how much he loved her, but instead he forced out a fake laugh when the guy started cursing profusely.
“I don’t think he’s gonna be winning any Oscars.”
She was practically shaking already before he even mentioned the word porn, and when she realized what he was saying, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. The thought was enough to make the throbbing feeling in her lower abdomen intensify, and she knew that this is where she was supposed to go back home to Jesse. But her head didn’t seem to get to make that decision.
“Okay,” she almost breathed. Finn’s eyes widened, and she swallowed. “I-I mean I usually don’t judge something before I… See it.” God this was such a bad idea. She was already close to taking his hand and moving it up underneath his boxers that she still was wearing. She licked her lips when Finn stumbled to put the movie in. He sat back down next to her, none of them trusting themselves to touch each other.
Rachel felt her entire body tremble when the opening credits began, featuring a strip club where women wearing nothing were dancing over men wearing very little. Usually she didn’t really get the whole porn thing, but when one of the women sat down on a man’s lap and he began sucking on her nipple, wetness pooled between her legs.
Would he have suggested watching something like this if he hadn’t had the hots for her? Maybe; it was a tradition of theirs to watch bad movies and laugh about them together, an inside joke if you will.
Did it make a difference now that he was madly in love with her? Hell yes. Before, he probably would have laughed the terrible acting off, maybe even imitated a few of the super corny lines (‘Are the sprinklers on in here? Because I’m really wet.’), but now he- He just-
Basically, it was actually the worst idea he’d ever had. No matter how awful the acting was (seriously, it was bad bad), he was still watching sex with the girl that he wanted to fuck until their bodies ached. Worse than that, he wanted to make love to her, again and again, which didn’t help when one of the strippers took a man’s hand and led him into a back room.
Which was, apparently, some kind of sex dungeon. Thanking a God he didn’t believe in for the fact that Puck had never dragged him to one of these places, his eyes practically bugged out of his head when a second girl came to join them.
A second girl who was an eerie double of Rachel Berry.
Okay, so to anyone else, the similarities would have been difficult to spot, but Finn was so fixated on his best friend that he could spot every feature that mirrored hers. The actress’s eyes were a darker brown and she was slightly taller than Rachel, but it didn’t take much imagination to imagine himself in the guy’s place when porn!Rachel started grinding against his lap.
When she began to unbutton his jeans and kneel on the floor, Finn closed his eyes and let out a quiet groan.
She barely had time to react before she felt Finn’s warm tongue against her skin, and her body felt like it caught on fire despite the cold ice cream. He licked her face, and sucked on her lips, and she felt like she was going to burst. Her lips fell apart when he pulled back, and she stared at him through heavy eyes, cheeks pink and lips swollen.
“I-I told you,” she said weakly, just as he brought the spoon to his mouth and licked the back of it. A jolt was sent through her body, arriving between her legs as she stared at his mouth. She suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself. His eyes innocently met hers, and she tried to hide how turned on she was getting by turning towards the TV with a tiny clearing of her throat. She wasn’t going to do this again. She had a fiance. Her eyelashes fluttered softly when he traced her leg. God.
He had to reign himself in, no matter where all his blood was rushing. Best friend, not home wrecker. Best friend, not home wrecker.
Trying to pay attention to the TV, he continued to run a hand along the inside of her leg, getting higher and higher until his fingertips were gently caressing her thigh.
“Porn,” he blurted out, his cheeks flushing as she looked at him in confusion. “I uh… Remember, a few weeks back, you told me about that porno that got, like, really bad ratings? I uh, I managed to track it down, and I thought that…” He gulped and laughed nervously. “Maybe we could watch it together, and, you know, make fun of how shitty it is…? I mean, if you want to.”
He looked down at his lap, his ears bright red.
Rachel’s eyes widened and she gasped. “Finn I do not have cooties! Are you five?” She giggled, before she began pushing the spoon towards him. Her giggles turned into laughs when he kept fighting her, the spoon smearing ice cream all over his chin. He whined her name, and she snorted, dropping the spoon in the container.
“You’re such a baby,” she giggled, cupping his face in her hands and titling it upwards. She leaned in and brushed her tongue over his skin, licking up the melted ice cream. She felt him tense under her touch, and her eyes flicked up to his own. The way he was looking at her sent a swarm of butterflies through her stomach.
“There,” she mumbled, letting her hands gently fall. “A-All clean.”
Finn’s eyes darkened considerably, and without thinking it out, he scooped up a spoonful of ice cream, smearing it over Rachel’s face. She squealed at the temperature, but before she could retaliate, he practically licked her like some kind of cat. He ran his tongue over her nose, down her chin, and when he reached her lips, he lightly sucked them into his mouth, teeth grazing her skin, hands holding her shoulders steady.
They had boundaries (sort of), and he was pretty sure he’d broken all of them.
“This stuff isn’t bad,” he said with a shrug, eating a spoonful, fingers still dancing across the skin of her leg.
She felt her body relax against his as he held her, and her eyes slipped closed when she felt his lips brush against her neck. His teeth teased her skin, and she felt a shiver rush through her body, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth. She knew it wasn’t supposed to feel like this when your best friend touched you. This tingling warmth was something she usually ignored, but now when she let herself feel it, she knew it was bad. They would have to stop that when she got married. It just seemed like something she shouldn’t continue when she was married to someone else.
She felt a light emptiness fill her when he released her, and she sighed softly to herself before she started making the popcorn.
Soon they were back on the couch, a blanket spread over their legs. Or her legs, that were resting over his lap.
“Come on, just taste it!” She giggled, holding up the spoon of vegan ice cream in front of his mouth. His bowl of regular ice cream was resting on her legs. “Finn, it’s basically the same!”
Finn wrinkled his nose, turning his face away from the spoon she held out at him. “You kidding me? I don’t want Berry germs, ew.” He stuck his tongue out at her playfully, a glint in his eye as he watched the ice cream. “I don’t know where you’ve been, Rach, and I’m a celebrity, you know. It wouldn’t look good for the band if I got cooties.”
Subconsciously, he began to run his fingers up and down her leg, watching her with a huge grin on his face.
Her sadness and worries seemed to wash away as Finn went back to his teasing tone and affectionately tickled her side, and she giggled, squirming. “Ice cream and popcorn sounds amazing right now,” she admitted, biting her lip with a smile, and Finn smiled, dimples playing on his cheeks. Her heart warmed, and she felt it pound a little harder against her rib cage. She liked how good she felt when she was around him. No one else ever made her this happy.
“I’ll make the popcorn,” she said, moving into the kitchen. “The last time you did it you burned them.” She giggled when Finn protested, and when he moved in behind her again and tickled her stomach, she squealed.
“Finn Hudson, you better stop that right now!”
“The popcorn was faulty!” he insisted as he ran his hands over her body, glad he could pretend that he was just being over friendly. If they were an item, if it had been them getting married, he would have pressed her up against the kitchen counter with quiet words of affection and endearment.
He kissed the back of her neck instead, letting his teeth graze her skin for longer than he probably should have. He was confused, hurting, but most of all, he was scared. Santana had told him to go for it, but would she think he was taking advantage of her now? Maybe.
Instead of speaking, he buried his face against her hair and inhaled the sweet smell of her shampoo. Best friends first, that’s what they had to be.
“Okay, I’ll sort out the ice cream.” Pulling away, he reluctantly retrieved the ice cream from the freezer, already dreading having to watch her lick it from the goddamn spoon.
Rachel sniffled and nodded a little, taking a shaky breath before she rubbed her cheek against his palm.
“You’re right. M-Maybe I’m overreacting. I’m just trying so hard to be the woman they want me to be, but they just… They won’t even give me a chance.”
She groaned and whipped her tears away, dropping her head onto his chest as she squeezed him tightly.
“Your family suddenly seem so easy to deal with,” she muttered, and she felt Finn’s chest shook with a small chuckle while he stroked her hair. She closed her eyes and let out a small breath. “I think I wanna wait until tomorrow before I talk to Jesse,” she said quietly, lifting her eyes to his. “Is it okay if I sleep here?”
“You can stay here whenever you want, you know that.” Finn smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “There’s always room in my bed for an extra Berry, trust me. Now, you wanna pig out on ice cream and popcorn? Unless you’re watching your figure, that is.” He winked at her as he lightly tickled her side, laughing when she laughed (definitely one of his favourite sounds).
“We can get old and fat together.”
Rachel was silent through his small speech, tears pushing past her eyelids and running down her cheeks as she sniffled quietly. She shuddered softly when his lips brushed her nose, her skin tingling. Her heart swelled when he said that she was beautiful no matter what, and she let out a small sob, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. She buried herself into his arms.
“That’s what you need to hear,” she whispered shakily. “When someone tells you that and you get upset, that is what the man you’re with is supposed to say.” She pulled back a little and touched his face, pressing her forehead against his. “Why aren’t more guys like you?” She sniffled. “Why didn’t Jesse defend me? He has never had any problems with my body before.”
She whimpered and buried her face in her hands. “I’m so confused, Finn. I don’t know what to do.”
He wanted to tell her the truth, he really did, but he couldn’t hurt her, not while she was so vulnerable.
“Do what you know is right in your heart. Jesse, he…” He sucked in a breath, about to lie through his teeth. “Parents have this weird effect on us. Maybe he was just trying too hard to be on their good side so that they’d like you, and he didn’t have the guts to stand up for them. Not everyone is as awesome as your dads, and I have a feeling that they were pretty strict and stuff.”
He tilted her head up to look at him, and again, the need to kiss her was too intense. “I bet he loves your body, and everything about you. This is probably just a misunderstanding, I know it.”
Rachel had always been insecure about her body. In high school is had often been bullied about her nose and her height and her hands and during her college time, it had been even worse. She had heard on several occasions that she wasn’t as pretty as those tall, slim girls. But hearing Jesse agree, hearing him say that she could lose some weight, that had cut deep. It made her remember all those times guys had said the same thing, and she felt like she was going to be sick.
She didn’t say anything during the ride home, and when Finn told her to get into some comfortable clothes she only nodded weakly and walked into his bedroom. She grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, putting them on. Then she grabbed one of Finn’s hoodies, slipping it on. She hugged herself, letting out a shaky breath. When Finn came into the living room, she was curled up on his couch, staring at the dark TV screen.
“Do you think I’m fat?” She asked quietly as he sat down next to her, a question she had asked him many times. She lifted her tear filled eyes to his. “Do I really need to loose weight?”
“Who cares what I think?” he asked hotly, an anger in his stomach that she was even taking this to heart. “Rachel, look at me.” He took her face between his hands, and thumbs brushing over her cheeks, he watched her carefully. “No one can dictate how you’re supposed to look and feel. I knew this girl at school, Lauren Zizes, and she was, you know, big. People used to make fun of her.”
Running a finger under her eyes, he shook his head. “But she didn’t care. She liked being a big girl, and she was totally comfortable with that, and even Puck was turned on by her confidence.” A small grin appeared on his lips, though it melted away just as quickly. “The point is, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If you want to lose weight, it should be because you want to, not because that Paula bitch thinks you should.”
He wanted to kiss her, like, really badly. He wanted to worship her body and prove just how perfect she was, but that wasn’t what a best friend would do in this situation.
Instead, he pressed a kiss to her nose, a soft, gentle brush of his lips that made her shudder against him. “For what it’s worth though, I think you look amazing, and I don’t think you need to change a thing. If you wanna lose weight, I’d still love a slightly smaller you, and if you wanna eat vegan cheese burgers for every meal, I’d still love a bigger you, alright? You’re always gonna be beautiful, Rachel, no matter what.”
Rachel could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Her throat closed up, a lump taking away the ability to swallow properly. She slowly put the menu away, her hand touching her flat stomach.
“I-I think I need some air,” she said quietly, her voice trembling, before she pushed back her chair and quickly walked towards the exit, her hand over her mouth. Jesse watched her go, a torn look on his face, but then he slowly sat back. “She’s probably on her period or something,” he said to his parents, excusing her behavior.
Rachel wrapped her arms tightly around herself in the chilly air, her breath coming out in short pants as she tried to keep the tears back. There was a sudden noise from inside the restaurant, like someone had knocked a chair down, and suddenly Finn was outside, arms around her. “I-I want to go to your place,” she choked out into his chest. Jesse rushed through the doors. “Rachel, come on, I was just-“
“Finn, take me away from here,” Rachel pleaded, her eyes turned away from her fiance.
As soon as Rachel had left, Finn had followed after her, shooting a glare in Jesse’s direction. Who the hell did he think he was? Sure, his parents seemed like douchebags, and Finn could tell that Jesse was intimidated by them, but that didn’t excuse his behaviour. Regardless of whether or not he got along with Carole, Finn would never have let her say something like that about his best friend.
God, she wasn’t even fat! Her body was smokin’, perfect, but that wasn’t even the point. If Rachel weighed five hundred pounds and was happy with her body, then he’d be just as happy for her; it wasn’t anyone’s business but her own.
He found her on the edge of tears when he wrapped her in a hug, and her plea to leave with him broke his heart. He might have wanted her, but he hadn’t wanted this.
Which is why it took all the strength he had not to punch Jesse’s smug little face as he appeared beside them. “If my best friend wasn’t in love with you, I’d beat the crap out of you with no hesitation.” Tightening his arms around her, he practically snarled at Jesse. “She’s coming home with me, and she’ll talk to you when she wants to.”
He waited for Jesse to put up a fight. He would have admired that, actually, because it would have meant that the jerk had some balls after all, but he didn’t bother. Without another word, he went back into the restaurant, casting Rachel a meaningful look as he left.
That’s when he felt her tears seeping into his jacket. He leaned down and kissed her head with a sigh, and while keeping an arm around her, he hailed for a cab to take them home.
The journey was quiet. Finn wasn’t sure what to say, and-
No, that wasn’t right. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t say it in the back of a taxi. Instead, he simply stroked her hand as the car moved along slowly in the night time traffic.
When they made it, and once he’d paid for the fare, Finn all but carried her into his apartment. God, he hated seeing her so defeated. She was always so confident about herself, but he knew that she’d always had issues with her body.
Trying to memorise the chord progressions needed for his performance in the morning, Finn jumped a little as his dorm room door banged open. Puck had already told him that he was out ‘humping a hoe’ (translation: he was trying to trick someone into buying him beer), which meant that it could only have been-
“Rachel?”
Following the sound of quiet sobs, Finn found her curled beside his door, clutching herself as she wiped at her eyes. “Do you think I’m fat?”
His eyes had practically bugged out his head at that. “What the hell? Who called you fat?”
“The boy I was telling you about, Robert. He took me for a coffee, and when I caught him staring at the waitress, h-he…” She sniffed and shook her head as small whimpers left her lips. “He said that maybe if I lost some weight, he’d be checking me out instead.”
Needless to say, Robert had gone to class with a black eye the next day.
“Come on, I’ll make you some of my crappy coffee,” he said softly as he led her inside. “Go grab some of my old clothes, choose a movie, and we’ll cuddle up in front of the tv, alright?”
